


Dust

by turtlesquare



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Kind of i mean its based off a song, Not A Happy Ending, Songfic, Tord-centric, no ships this time sorry folks, post the end part 2, quite a bit after the end pt.2, well not exactly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:16:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtlesquare/pseuds/turtlesquare
Summary: Tord reminisces on what was, what could have been, and what is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song "Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind" from the musical Spring Awakening.

_"Friends? Ha, who needs friends!"_

 

The phrase, along with  _his_ face, tears streaming, were things that constantly haunted his thoughts, his dreams, every moment.  For a while, he was able to forget, and even ignore.  He wasn't sure what changed.  Somewhere down the line, something happened that made everything come back, full-force, like a flood..  A tsunami of unwelcome memories.  He wasn't sad; the Red Leader was never sad.  He had things to do, important things, and he wouldn't let the past get in the way of the future.

Except that it already was.

He had cancelled meetings, feigned illness, all to stay in his office.  He wouldn't leave, not when a soldier was injured, not even when there were casualties.  He would drink and drink and drink, attempt to forget.  It would work, if only for a little while.  Then he would wake up, hungover, with no recollection of the previous night yet remembering every second of years prior.

He wasn't sad.

Paul would visit, Patryk would visit, in attempts to get him to actually do his job.  After all, the reason he severed his past ties was so that he  _could_  reassume his position as the leader.  The leader of a very powerful army, at that.  They managed to drag him out of his office every now and then, lying through their teeth at any soldiers that dared to question why their leader wasn't active for days--weeks, even.  Those soldiers would occasionally face expulsion, or execution, if Red Leader was in a bad enough mood.

He tried to pride himself on being a good leader, but these things were getting in the way.

He missed them; Edd and Matt, and even Tom, at times.  He missed fucking around, shooting zombies, just having  _fun_.  He missed the way Edd's eyes would light up whenever he had an idea, how Tom was quick and witty in his responses, Matt's narcissism and optimism.  He wanted it back.   He wanted friends again.

 _No, I don't_.

He wished things had ended better.  The only thing that had gone according to plan was... Well, nothing, actually.  And his screw-up's left him disfigured, missing an arm and an eye as well.  He wished that he was back with them, that he was still Tord, that they were still hanging out and being assholes to each other.  Things could have been good.  He could have just left the Red Army, letting Patryk or Paul assume the leadership position.  Everything could be better, but he was stuck now.  And the Red leader was never sad,

But _Tord_ was sad.

**Author's Note:**

> this,,,,isnt angsty enough,,
> 
> Sorry it's so short, I lost the original draft and forgot almost everything that this fic was originally gonna have in it. Whatever. Also uh, I don't know why some of the spacing looks so weird. Ignore it just like RL ignores his feelings :')


End file.
